{"id":671,"date":"2007-11-19T03:32:25","date_gmt":"2007-11-19T03:32:25","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/lanuera.com\/cmwp\/?p=671"},"modified":"2007-11-19T03:32:25","modified_gmt":"2007-11-19T03:32:25","slug":"a-burglar-tale","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/church-mouse.net\/?p=671","title":{"rendered":"A burglar tale"},"content":{"rendered":"
This is not exactly a Neocat joke, but the Mouse felt that it had to be shared nevertheless.<\/p>\n
A<\/span> burglar broke into a house one night. He shone his torch around, looking for valuables, and when he picked up a CD player to place in his sack, a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark saying, ‘Jesus is watching you.’<\/p>\n

He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his torch off, and froze. When he heard nothing more after a bit, he shook his head, promised himself a holiday after the next big score, then clicked the light on and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out to disconnect the wires, clear as a bell he heard,"Jesus is watching you.’<\/p>\n

Freaked out, he shone the light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his torch beam came to rest on a parrot.<\/p>\n

‘Did you say that?’ he hissed at the parrot.<\/p>\n

‘Yep,’ the parrot confessed, and then squawked, ‘I’m just trying to warn you.’<\/p>\n

The burglar relaxed. ‘Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?’<\/p>\n

‘Moses,’ replied the bird.<\/p>\n

‘Moses?’ the burglar laughed. ‘What kind of people would name a bird Moses?’<\/p>\n

‘The same kind of people that would name a rottweiler Jesus."<\/p><\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

This is not exactly a Neocat joke, but the Mouse felt that it had to be shared nevertheless.<\/p>\n

A burglar broke into a house one night. He shone his torch around, looking for valuables, and when he picked up a CD player to place in his sack, a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark saying, ‘Jesus is watching you.’<\/p>\n

He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his torch off, and froze. When he heard nothing more after a bit, he shook his head, promised himself a holiday after the next big score, then clicked the light on and … Continue reading → <\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"ngg_post_thumbnail":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[16],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-671","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-haha"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/church-mouse.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/671","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/church-mouse.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/church-mouse.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/church-mouse.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/church-mouse.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=671"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/church-mouse.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/671\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/church-mouse.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=671"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/church-mouse.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=671"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/church-mouse.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=671"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}